Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
