I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
