that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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