I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
