I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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