One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
