The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I want her autograph on my taint
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
