it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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