So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
