Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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