it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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