Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you still have your period?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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