i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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