we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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