How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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