so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
