Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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