This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
