The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Terrible idea I love it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
