You work out of a Hotel?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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