I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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