its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
