that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Im part way to drunk.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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