Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
