Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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