I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
