Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize