I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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