we're blogging at a bar
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
