Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
