The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
