the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she smelled like a LAN party
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
