you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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