I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize