On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
