covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
