i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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