I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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