her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
