dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
