So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
