it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
