Welp...herpes.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
