Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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