the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
