Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize