You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
