i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
