I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
