i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
