and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
