I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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