if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize