my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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