Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
