Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
