thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
