So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Randomize
