can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize