If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
