You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
