I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
