i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize