oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
