you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
