I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
