god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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