just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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