all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
