No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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