will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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