this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
