How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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