lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
