why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
