ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
