I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I faked an abortion last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
